tanweicheng.

Have I really moved on?

2011-01-22T02:47:00.002+08:00

The answer is a clear No.
I'll think of him in the day, every night, figuring and pondering what he is busy with at the moment. Hooking up on new girls, or back to the previous girl.
Gee, i seriously dont know if i should go to the party :/ I wanna go, but am afraid things might turn uncomfortable for majority; himself, his ex gf, his friends, his friends and even more of his friends :/
I am really trying hard to move every inch a lil forward, to a better start, everyday.
Then i realised, after 30days (a month), i am still stucked, at the same spot. Nothing's changed. He should lead a better life(:
Gawdzxz, i prolly need another 2 years, or maybe more uh? Haha.

New Year Resolution.

2011-01-01T00:55:00.003+08:00

55 minutes passed the New Year and im at home. ha, damn pathetic.
This year, i hope to become someone better. remain/grow at a height of 170cm, weighing only 52kg.
To be honest, i still have strong feelings for younghwan. But i believe all these will 'heal' after some time yea? If 2 weeks can make his feelings for me decreased to just being "medium", i believe it will happen to me too! :)
So....besides growing and weighing lighter, less emo, more more more optimistic, happy go lucky, do things that i'll not only be enjoying, as well as taking in consideration of others and lastly, STUDIES WILL TRIUMPH! (:

I wish all folks be well fed and be as happy as possible! <3
Byebye, my ex-boyfriend! ;)

Back, baby!

2010-12-31T00:43:00.003+08:00

Regardless of how much a guy tells you how much, how much, how much much he loves or is interested in you, it's valid only for that very moment. Because after sometime, you'll realise that he can actually move on faster than you do.
Good for you! ;D
And yes, i'm back from that wrecked trip!
Malaysia...seriously.... I dont know how to describe.
Whined throughout a wholly of 7 hours during the bus ride (:

Merry Bel' Christmas!

2010-12-26T22:37:00.002+08:00

Firstly, i'd like to thank everyone for all the gifts! ;) And for those who havent gave, ITS TOO LATE, SAVE IT FOR YOURSELF. ;D
I'll become much tougher, i swear (:
If it's meant to be yours, it will eventually be. Once again, this sentence ;)
Just sssssseriously hope i wouldnt regret making any wrong decisions man. And if it would be, i have no choice but to bear all consequences righttttttt? -......-

Choose the correct path.

2010-12-14T22:43:00.002+08:00

Think i'll back out from the school's debate team.
It's little too tough to handle.
In order to be a good debator, i must be eloquent, quick-witted, strong knowledge of whatever that is going on in the World, calm enough to answer all questions, fierce enough to handle all situations.
I can be fierce to my family members, boyfriend and a couple of friends. But to the other debators who hasnt done anything wrong against me nor have had known me at all, where's the fairness?? Though the game is supposed to be played the way it is. But it's going against my own conscience.
Sigh. Guess i can't do it.
It's time i learn how to reject offers instead of picking each and every one of it up and in the end, getting all busy out, stressed, pressurized, venting anger on people.
Did i make a right choice, Yh? I really need some of your advices. But you're forever busy with school.
Sigh. COme to think of it, i requested for it yea? (:

Upbringing.

2010-12-12T00:07:00.001+08:00

I pondered and pondered.
No point at all, serious.
The warmth won't last long.
I'm sorry but i seriously don't feel r.i.g.h.t.

Recuperating.

2010-12-03T00:58:00.002+08:00

Upon recuperating, you're being affected again.
Affected by the things he said, affected by the manner of speech,affected by the good old times you've shared, affected by the once intimacy and reliance you once owned. You can joke and lame almost as easily as you were speaking rubbish with your nearest kin, Mom. Yea, that's how comfortable a pace i was at during the earlier conversation when he called. I never expected him to call because it has been on-going for so many days.
And during that 1 hour of conversation, the bad times just seized to exist.
You've totally forgotten how harsh and vulgar you were just one week back, how bad the rows and quarrels were. Sigh.
YoungHwan, i stole 2 towels from you last time, i must admit. the two hankies that you always will bring them during warm, humid weathers. a maroon and a white one. I've got no intention of returning it back, so please, buy new ones yourself cos' i will be the one bringing them out in future! :) I'm a hankie-stealer! ^^
The one and maybe the only 'youngster' in this era who carries a hankie instead of tissues because you wanted to save tissue paper or maybe you dont have tissue paper at home or maybe you're lazy having to look for trash-bins to dispose them. Hahaha! BUT, that's how unique i see in you and was then awed by it.
Really a waste. If only....if only....
Sigh. No more "if-only/s".
"Heng-bok-kai-keh! Ya-suk?" :)
Goodnight!

More than a week.

2010-11-30T00:03:00.003+08:00

It's been more than a week since we broke off. Thoughts are still entangled.
This is the so-called, 'after-effect' period i guess.
Been drowning myself with tears for the past week, using them as my sleeping pill.
Can't move on. I still can't move on. I am still stuck in that :/
TRIED patching things up but mood turned 440 degrees when he sighed.
Okay, now i know i'm irritating. So, no more. no more of such. E.N.D All must end!
Give me another 1 week, i should be able to do it and happily go lucky again (:
"In order to become strong and to find what truly belongs to you,there will be a process you must overcome."
Just stole it from a drama! :D To those who are of the same boat as i am, it's for you too! Hope we'll get out of it soon!
Back to drama!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2010-11-25T23:21:00.003+08:00

It feels uberly good when you know you've friends there to back you up, text you every morning to say, "TANWEICHENG, IT'S 11am! FASTER WAKE UPPPP!", call you out to shop, dine for dinner after school and most importantly, be with you, at this period of time whereby you need people's accompany most! Thanks so much, ElingLoooooo & NgZhuHui! :)
Goodnight, my lamest, gayiest earthlings!

2010-11-24T01:38:00.002+08:00

Ahhh, my life is so fucked up now. Every night at a certain point in time, i will cry incessantly. Damnit ley, i will become blind one day, i reckon.
Imagine one morning when i'm awake, i cant see a single shit all of a sudden, my world becomes blind, .....WAH, really GG eh. Dont cry cannot. Really feeling very down and sad, sadz, sadzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzx deep there. So many issues! Relationship, school stress for both the modules, the coming exam this friday, family issues, etc etc. damn! Why is my blooming 20 years still so childish and troubling??????
Lord, teach me. Yawn, goodnight.

reminiscence.

2010-11-17T01:03:00.002+08:00

As i browse through our old pictures, i laughed. laughed out heartily.
hahaha, really love that two's companion as friends for as close as 17 years? They are really humorous and forever up to tricks. Missed those times when we were always out hanging together.
Once, when we were 17 (i guess), we decided to go ECP in the night, carrying alcohol, BacardiBreezer, Heineken, Hoot(is it?The grape one. Elin & Shuhui loved it alot) and a packet of cigarette. Than, we decided to drink and smoke our hearts off that night. Haha, young what. so the things that we did werent really awesome. but it was a really a good night spent together.

We used to cycle every week last time, after work, from ECP to Changi. We stayed in Changi for awhile just to look at planes' departing. The following week, we suffered cramps for around 5 days. WE FUCKING CYCLED FOR 6 LONG HOURS NON STOP!

Hahaha, seriously hope the relationship wont die, we'll still hang out that often and do crazy nonsense everywhere, anywhere :) WE MUST GO OUT MORE OKAY!? Don't neglect me just because i'm seldom with you guys hor, nabeh.

he's sleeping time weighs heavier than me.

2010-11-06T01:02:00.000+08:00

FUCK OFF, JYH.

I can't get to bed :/

2010-11-01T03:42:00.009+08:00

It's approaching 4am and i'm still not in bed, surfing the net, watching teevee, listening to the rain. It's growing cold in here, in my home :( Not a good thing.
Mom's so gonna kill me when she's out later. Hahaha.

Lesson starts 1pm tmr. I don't have to attend school earlier, right?Hack care luh.
Vomited in the park near my place earlier, straight after i alighted from the bus; all my beancurd, you tiao, egg tart from Rochor >:(
Now, maybe all these while i was having indigestion. I thought it was gastritis so i began eating to keep myself 'full'. No wonder it was hurting so much recently! >:( Kay, i put on fats for nothing >:(
And NAPFA is on the coming Tuesday. Goods! Run with those fats and prepare to fail!
Used to adore and will look forward to NAPFA. Not anymore now. Cos' I am still a girl somehow :/

This is so damn awesome. Literally c.u.t.e. to the max.

I can't seem to insert MyHwan's face! WHY!? >:(
Too bad, stick to JongHun's then :DD

Life Is Unpredictable.

2010-10-29T20:53:00.003+08:00

Indeed. Many things are beyond one's control.
We were again, quarreling last night and same thing almost happened.
Somehow, things resumed back this afternoon and we are happy for now again.
But we won't know when we will start quarreling. Like, maybe the next minute?
So i've learnt another thing.
To be happy at present, is the most enjoyable thing to do.
Just hack care and enjoy every moment we have. You might be surprised! :)

Wow, i sound like some inspirational shit!!
Must be that previous event. Researched for soooooo many inspirational, motivational stuff! and my brains are all stuffed now (:

Really dislike sarcasm and critism. But what to do?
some people are just born to give other people unfavorable remarks, without knowing how much the other will be upset. Take it in stride lo. Maybe he wants to spur me to do well the next time. But than again, NO NEED TO MAKE WORDS SO AWFUL RIGHT? TCH!

Finally 'passing down' that position to another fella.
Phew becos i am finally breaking free!
Really feel unworthy.
I can't organise events as grand as others can.
And i know others are all encouraging me, telling me i am already doing a good job. but i know myself well. i haven't felt 'that' achievement.
but again, what to do? it's pretty late to salvage becos even the teachers in charge are forgetting all about me and my exco.
Just tolerate for another 5months and i am gonna start life afresh! :))))
So, just grit my teeth and bear with sarcasm for 5 more months!! It's coming, it's coming!! :D

Optimistic! :)

2010-10-20T01:01:00.003+08:00

Really hope everything will improve after tomorrow, for my relationship especially.
Cos it's like don't know how many days since i last saw my that FRIGGIN' BELOVED boyfriend.
When one's relationship ain't flowing smoothly, MANY, BILLION THINGS WILL GET AFFECTED!
So, i gotta hope that all things can solve after meeting him! sort things, talk through things, settle everything!
And i really promise myself this time that i must reduce my amount of vulgarities greatly! Shuhui is right. You can't use vulgarities to control a relationship because at the end of the day both of you will end up screaming strings and strings of vulgarities at each other instead of solving problems! It's so true! why did i took so long a time to realise?
So please, Teegong, please make things flow well tomorrow!
I love you! (My teegong)
Okay, time for bed, wake up early tomorrow and look forward to my day! ^^
Lastly, JYH, ARE YOU TOUCHED THAT I'VE GROWN UP A LIL!??! :D

70% emotional.

2010-09-27T17:51:00.003+08:00

One dreadful week have had finally passed! :) Alil' delighted :)
Cooped with alot of tangled thoughts :( can't really iron it out straight.
I really miss home super, duper alotzxzxzx! miss those rotting-at-home-doing-nothing life, sleep at 3am in the night till 3pm in the noon, so much so much and so much others!

Well, there's seriously no point in thinking and being paranoid too much, weic. Putting other ppl's situation into your own imaginary scenerio(: Dramamama siol!
If he were to 'cheat' behind your back, so be it. just be brave and let it go. At least you know you're lucky for you didn't end up your life with a basturd :) Just can't understand why are some guys so friggin gay. Sigh, perhaps the things i've been seeing these few days? they're really making me emo. hahaha!

I WANNA GO HOME SOOOOON! >:/

2010-09-10T12:56:00.002+08:00

Love Mom to the maximum.
But it's pretty obvious that boy disappointed her alot.
I disappointed him, he disappointed Mom. What a cycle.
I just merely started telling her i couldnt absorb anything yesterday, she immediately got my message.
she was like, "of course lah. he's seriously very selfish. completed his exams than come and screw yours. it's okay, just study what you can."
i nearly cried again. felt a little 'touched' than she added, "who ask you, sway lo."
dont know if i should cry or laugh. ma de

This will be the finalised decision uh. so no more, "haiyah, used to it lo, sure okay again one lahhhhhhh" hahaha.
Guess this the still the best solution? better than we grow hatred towards each other and end it off uglier.
Oh wellsssss. fuck it lah. take it in stride lo. what to do.dont wanna get into any of this stupid shit in future anymore. freaking irritating and annoying.
too much of hassle than fun.

Time to mug again. cb

2010-09-04T17:59:00.003+08:00

Alright. It's been a donkey load of years i last blogged, again. Ohwellsss, lazy luh!
Felt kind of intimidated when i read my cousin's. hers is like..... one-post-dont-know-need-to-scroll-how-many-times????
well, am really glad for her life now, she's happy! (:
today's the 4th. Gawdzxz, 16 more days and i'll be off to HongKong!
HERE I COMEEEEEEE!
Sadded,it's WITH THE SCHOOL AND NOT MY FAMILY! >:(
Ain't really expecting or looking forward to it alot.
There's 2papers and 1 fucked up presentation lined up >:(
I seriously don't like it this time.
I haven't found that enthusiasm to study! Yes, i am revising my books almost everyday,but it seemed like nothing went in at all! Damnit. Waste of time only.
Skipping lectures(becos i thought it was pointless to go to school and correct those revision papers, might as well sleep at home, when the clock strikes 3pm, go out and study), sleep late, go home late(from those revisions), start the next day late.
Ha, wrong perception uh? Hack.It.Lah.

Growing even introverted.

2010-08-10T00:19:00.002+08:00

Have been really weak lately. tear, cry over the littlest thing!
watch drama, cry.
think about boyfriend, cry.
went supermarket with Mom, saw how they killed the fish on the spot, upset.
went supermarket, saw the fishes with crooked mouth, heart weakened.
saw how small their fucking tanks were, upset.
dreamt of Grandma, worried.
thought of Grandpa, upset.
talk to Mom, pissed easily.
helped out during dinner just now, pekchek.
can't see in the dark, during night time, pekchek.
eyesight grown worse, pekchek.
wtf, wtf, wtf happened to me? ):
Really irritating!!
PMS meh? PMS for fuck?
Really feel like fucking everything, throw everything behind and just leave.
leave and restart everything. really fucked up these days.

Really don't feel like continuing, doing everything, anything.
Wah, i really need a fucking good break.
My shoulders are aching like my shoulders are becoming broader than younghwan's!

Perhaps?

2010-07-26T01:10:00.004+08:00

Perhaps we should stick as friends uh? than no conflicts, no wars, nothing.
i still have got no idea what is it that i really want in life :/
after searching high and low for so long, i seem to be heading for the wrong directions. i should do things that i shouldnt, i shouldnt have been so reckless.
what a toot-head.

Aww, school projects are giving me mori arpo. forever non stop! Cleared away marketing and events organising and finally left with the design module, which will completely be dued only after some time. Gee, i really hope to clear all these as soon as possible.
Next worry, my theory papers :/
i really wanna score well for this term. and an increment in my bloody fucked up gpa.
Oh man, everything is so tough. the roads are getting rockier :/
I WANT A BREAKFREE FROM EVERYTHING UH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FML

If i could, i would definitely pull the land of Panjang nearer to me! >;( HATE/DETEST/EXTREMELY ANTAGONIZED!

2010-07-15T23:25:00.007+08:00

Distance, is eventually still an issue.
Laziness, cocked-up-shitsxszxs in schools as well.
Gross. Why is everything growing old and boring?
School sucked, friends sucked, family sucked.all, big time.
growing tired of the r/s as well. stupid school timings blocked us.
Once a week also difficult or not even in sight.
Target: once a month/ once a year/ once every 10 years. Fuck!
Think i gotta go cycling after emcee-ing this Sat, which ends at fucking 4.30pm and/ or maybe dine with my GM Boys.Long time since we last met, people!
It's time to focus on other things yo.
AHHH! I AM STILL NOT FEELING HAPPY! WHY!!!!????!!!!SO FRUSTRATING!
Guess i'm fucking gonna fall ill again. Head fucking pain ah! Day3 already eh! The stupid nerves keep fighting, sparring in my brains! One minute, left hurts. another minute, right hurts. another sec, both hurts. and that two nosrils, keep getting blocked out of the blue. a-pa-yo!

thrashed.

2010-07-15T00:09:00.003+08:00

They ain't sharing anything with me. Just because i am not working? Just because i am not 'his' target? wtf. like i don't understand how y'all feel.
Do i have to mention each and every single little thing to let y'all know that i wanna stand on the same line with y'all, in unison? WTF.
Must I s.p.e.l.l. out everything!? Freaking pissed. FINE. THAN DON'T SHARE. DON'T BREATHE A SINGLE WORD ABOUT IT. LEAVE ME ALONE, FORSAKE ME. MIGHT AS WELL SNAP OFF OUR BLOODLINES? BITCHES. Hell ya, serious.

Guess the things i can do now is to focus on my studies, score freaking awesome results, package myself really well, steadily ascend a secured position in Poly, graduate fast, get a good job, a good pay, be filial towards my sisters, parents, grandma. THROW MY THOSE GOLDEN SPARKLES MAN! ;D

*Hope my event will run smoothly tomorrow.
Enough participants, enough ra-ra. Prove to lecturers that i'm not useless, i'm not a freaking "by-name." Cos' it doesn't feel at all comfortable to be labeled that ;/
Bless me, O Lord, Buddha, Allah, TeeGong. Sarang Hae! :D

Hwaighting, bitch.

2010-07-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

Feel uberly stressed up, yet again.
freaking shit.
school presentation, put in whole load of 6 hours effort last night, edit, undo, edit, paste, edit, collage.but it doesnt feel much that my efforts have paid well :/
ottokkajo? ):

Happy Birthday, Jimmie!

2010-07-07T23:37:00.003+08:00

Yessah! my birthday is coming!! 15more minutes and i'll be freaking 20! ):
Oh my god, i'm stepping into the world of Elin's ))):

and,yar, again... younghwan and i got back. but for how long before another quarrel, i think in no time, it will arrive. sigh.
he's been sick for so many days. and whenever i called, he'll just say he's sick, he's tired, he wants to rest. mood's dampened,definitely.
but what to do? act understanding, find other things to do to occupy myself lo.
i really hate the feeling of being neglected, being left out, all alone. even before when he was well and with my friends, i really hate to feel that way. big time :/
immature? i guess so. i'm just about to reach 20. what you'd expect man??
plus my temper is forever fucked up. that explains in why younghwan is getting irritated and sian-ed.
if ever one day we really end it, kudos to his level of tolerance. hahaha.
am i not feeling shameful or what? wtf.

I WONT BE GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW! THE SOUTHERN RIDGES ARE WAVING VIGOROUSLY AT ME!

Another chance?

2010-07-03T15:28:00.002+08:00

Met YoungHwan earlier on to collect back my toy.
he wanted to reconcile and requested for another chance.
Fuck, should i? as usual, i am impacted on again.
Damn ley. Already wanted to end everything off sweetly,than come and sway my thoughts again.
and ive already announced to the whole wide world in my previous post that the "Game's Over." If we were to reconcile again(which we did countless times), will people still believes in what we say in future? The chinese story,"wolf and shepherd."
A relationship involves two people. Why bother how others think?
You're right, hwan. but as human grows older, they tend to be mindful of how others look at them. at least for me i think it works that way.
TMD. see first lah, naptime. sleep first than think again.
Oh, and school lecturer EMAILED me about my club's stuff. fuck. gotta rack more brains! :/

I'm sorry, Dad.

2010-07-03T01:42:00.006+08:00

When Dad asked me to have supper earlier on, i really wanted to apologise sincerely. but i didnt. i really couldnt control myself then. i just wept non stop, incessantly.
i felt really remorseful for reaching home late last night without informing anyone as my phone went dead on battery :/ i should have borrowed and called.
and eventhough i was with Bryan and all, i worried so much that YH might not be able to find me, he'll get anxious.
to think that my family members are the ones who thought i'd met with a mishap.
i turned on my phone, there was only a message from YH, telling me about his dinner.
How would i have felt man. Family is more important than bf eh? OBVIOUSLY. and i only worried for him, awfully neglecting my parents and sister. WTF.
i'm a sinner!

we, have finally decided to close our chapter.
he couldnt take me, the fact that i always hang around with guys. he blew up.
it was solely my fault for being bitchy and only hang around with guys since secondary school, i know. i am such a kind of bitch whom i have little girl friends around alright?
he said i'm always controlling him, mentally.
whenever things go wrong, i'd cry and create a ruckus when it's my fault. and then, he'll just gotta swallow all things and bear with it.
Yea, you're right. i guess i'm really that sort of a person.
To let him off living all well and easy, i finally decided to let him off, off for good.and i'm really determined this time round. there'll be no more of such nonsense-bearing shitsssss.
the only thing that really turned me off literally is that we broke off just 6 days before my 20th birthday. wtf.
i was really anticipating to celebrate with him. but, fuck it lah.
life still goes on. just be strong, believe in being strong and i will pass the days off smoothly and well.
i know i can! Hwaighting! :D
To recall, wtf leh, really. i cried till it's like the end of the whole just now! cried as though i just fell, hit my knees on the ground, swayly with a rusty pin sticking out for no reason, poke right deeply into the bones. wailing and wailing non stop. it was really stupid. however, i felt better! hahaha. but seriously, WHY THE FUCK DID I MADE SO MUCH NOISE WHEN CRYING?! "Attention seeking!" Younghwan would say.
i dont mind being friends with you,dude.
and damn! you gotta return me my toy asap! tomorrow will be the best day! before i'll start being all rough with you, using the real boyish v.s. man language, you punk!

Love sister!

2010-06-27T21:43:00.007+08:00

YOUNGER SISTER IS SWEEEEEEEEEEET TO THE MAX! SHE KNEW I JUST RANKED 'JANG GEUN SUK' AS MY FAVOURITE IDOL, SHE SENT ME A PICTURE TO BRIGHTEN MY DAY! HOW MORE SWEETER CAN SHE GET!?!
(Guys, you should really click on to the picture, zoom in, and observe his cutttteeeeee, vibrant smile! :D)
YoungHwan, choe-song-ham-ni-da (((((:

oh god, i seriously feel demoralised from head to toe!
I AM SO GROWING FATTER! *GROWL
my HAIR became grassier,
my FACE grew fatter,
my NECK grew thicker,
my SHOULDERS became broader,
my ARMS grew MUCH FATTER,
my hour-glass, (used to be 25inches) WAIST thicken,
my TUMMY flapped out a thickness of 6inches worth of fats!
my HIPS expanded,
my BUM sagged as well,
my THIGHS, woah! fat like shit!
my CALVES sagged, and the muscles soften,
my FEET grew broader.
ON THE WHOLE, SUCK BIG TIME AH!

Regular working hours really makes ppl fat :/
oh, i work and slogged my slave-destined life, managed to save only 200$ so far.
oh wellsssssssssssssss.i tried my best, though ):

Sway-est day of the month! >:(

2010-06-18T11:39:00.002+08:00

Thursday, 17-June-2010.
(1)Insect bitten my foot while camping with younghwan, swelling badly when i was at work. wanted to scratch,beat,whack hard! and it feels darn hot -.- walk also pain eh!
(2)On my way to the toilet at work, i hid my pad under my clothe(because that stupid skirt has got no pockets!), i tripped onto a plastic bag, BAM! fell flat with my arms and legs on the ground. THE PAD......*wheeeeeeee* flew out from my clothe, and this whole shit was witnessed by the hongkong worker there! knn! unglam and paiseh to the max! and suffered a bruised on my knee.
(3)While waiting for knock-off,rotted with the others in the kitchen. someone left the glass under the table,some others push the trays from the back, and that glass fell directly onto my foot(fully filled with beer), *zzk* a few small cuts.but aint painful.thank god, halleluiah!
(4)Reached home around 3am, fucking fatique, stomach feels nauseous, walked around the house, sat with Mom and watched teevee together, than suddenly, *woolehhhhhzxzx* vommitted loads of bitter-tasting,orangey stuff. gross to the max i swear!

Yea, thats all ):

YAY!

2010-06-15T21:39:00.002+08:00

*Fanfare!!*
Saviour of the day, MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOUR!!!!!
Gee, i promised, from now on, i'm gonna be good good good neighbours with them! i wont "dao", act cool with them anymore!
they're of so much help to me! :D
Thanks loads man, dude! ((:
Come to think of it, i wore shabbily over to my neighbour's place-.-
One night-time spag and my "silky" sleeping shorts. with the batik-looking-prints also! aww man! embarrassing eh!!!!!!

and Yes! Camping tomorrow! JungYoungHwan, ARE YOU READY FOR THE one night SURVIVOR CAMP!!!???????
I'm gonna settle the tent, make yh set up fire, cook for me, while i take a nap in the tent (: That's what guys are supposed to do okayyyyyyyy. dont say i'm ill-treating him!

Oh, Shannon is now with us, working together with Billy at banquet! ahahha! we're gonna set up Bishan-tree there (:
Billy>Anonymous>Jon>Weic>Shannon!
Yea man Shann, we should chiong together for that skin-peeling HongKong Trip!
Before that trip, i've so many other things to settle ):
oh, i'm so depressed!
i'm so poor and hard up for money ):
Where did all my money go?????
and i realised, being independent is so tough :/
i must stand on my own feet! Earn and carve a new piece of sky for myself!
(talk cock only.)

Gee, i'm so tired. time for bed! (: There's a camp tomorrow :D

A day.

2010-06-13T00:22:00.004+08:00

looking at YoungHwan,i just couldnt deny the fact that that fello is really one cute, playful, active, (innocent?) asshat.
simple things he does can really make me laugh out loud and i really, really, really adore the moments spent with him. though we often gave sacarstic remarks to each other, but we knew we were just trying to create some 'atmosphere' there (:
i'd really love to apologise to him. (if he happened to read this one day)
i am really sorry. for being demanding, paranoid, hot-tempered etc etc all this while.
felt really guilty when i reflected during bathetime just now.
i feel like a bully, always wanting to win, overcome him :/
why ar? because he's much fairer than i am?
Really thankful he tolerated all my nonsense for the whole while.
ANYWAY, i dont think i will do anything to change my bad habits for the time being, so....
heh heh heh, CONTINUE SUFFERING JACKASS! :D

Alright!
a sudden urge to bake today!
Decided to bake at Grandma's and so, gotten yh along!
FUCKKKKKK! I JUST REALISED! I DID NOT SAVE THE PHOTOS I TOOK OF THE COOKIES INTO MY PHONE! WTF! WHERE DID IT GO!????! Damn! else, i could have added 'life' in my blog!
Sorry guys, not my fault for having the blog plain. the phone doesnt listen to me!>:(
knn!
Summary:
Had a fun day.
YH was a joke the whole day.
He cajoled Mom and sister with his 'Magic' skills.
He baked with me.
We watched BuzzLightyear:Star of the Command together.

i seriously think his life would be more vibrant had he met someone else.
cos my life is all about rotting, rotting, and rotting.
Compared with his old pictures, his life is totally the opposite now. lifeless, rugby-less. Fuck. Here it comes again.......

how.how,how????!!!

2010-06-11T19:21:00.000+08:00

Please, i dont want to kenna fire burn! :/
Teegong, please dont punish me :/

2010-06-09T09:42:00.002+08:00

Mom used to say that as family members, we should all learn to help one another be it a good or a bad thing.
am i the only one practicing this logic???
havent been talking for 2 days. fuck it whenever i recalled what she'd said.
"Dont know what i owe this family."
or perhaps i didnt think enough in her shoes??
but....even so, THATS NOT THE WAY TO PUT IT WHATTTTTT. Imagined if Mom and Dad were to listen to it, how heart-broken will they be??
I will still insist on my stand that i am not wrong in rebuking back.

Always disliked instant noodles.
cant believe that i've eaten quite a number of packets recently!
no choice. nothing to eat at home when im famished and because of time constraint.
oh wells. take it as a training lah!when im in HK, i might need to rely on them to save money! (((:

To update ShuHui and Elin Loo:
hey guys, i'm going HK this sept for my school attachment. for 3 weeks.
meet up many many times before i leave okay??
missed you guys like fuck!
missed the east coast rotting, the dumb and stupid things we commented on and did, and so many many more!!
my holidays starts this week. wont be going to school this friday cos i'll be sending Grandma off. she's going Shanghai for holidays!
and i wanna use my sister's polaroid camera, take pictures!
fuck, i talk as though im dying soon :/ wtf.
oh ya, watch toy story III together eh! with our boyfriends along yea? (;

jiejie i'm ready!

2010-06-09T00:56:00.004+08:00

Really felt uberly insecured when that jackass told me about the girl from his school.
at that instance,i really felt that this man here is making his first move of revenge.
and that,happened to be inviting a girl to his father's condo to swim!cb,give you 60cents lah,go public swimming pool lah.
still got the guts to ask MY HWAN TO LET YOU INTO HIS FATHER'S POOL TO SWIM.tmd.
ka tulan eh.
GOOD! TAKE IT POSITIVE,WEIC! GOT COMPETITION MEANS LIFE WILL BECOME MORE FRUITFUL! COME,I WAIT!! :D

Haven't been blogging for awhile!

2010-06-04T01:02:00.002+08:00

haha, okay, my apologies. i blocked my blog becos i was really fucked up the other day. and so decided to be an introvert. but, i've woken from my senses! :DD
i'm a grown up! (Y)

i really hope school holidays come fast!! CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANT A BREAK, BADDDDDdLY!

i just flipped the calendar. GUESS WHAT!????!! 5X3weeks of holidays in a year! woohooooooo! shiok lah! that's the way!^^ but this term seemed to be EXTREMELYYYYY DRAGGGGGGGYYYYYYY.

Just read Hyung's(Edmund)& Amos's blog. Coolshit, i swear. theyre so good with words! describe like hellllll! my heart sanked when i saw their photos :/
the hung their clothes like those of Banglas! a string across only. and their room's pretty tiny. damn sad eh. like go there suffer :/
anyway, can tell theyre having loads of fun lah.

My bf and i finally talked without pricking each other today! yes! major improvement,cha gi ya! Keep it up! (Y)

Quarrel, Day 6,

2010-05-22T00:20:00.003+08:00

for consecutive 6 days.
nobody knows how much i want to say, how much i want to descibe, how much i really want to evaporate into the air right now. god damn serious.
i tried to describe as much as i could. but somehow, THERE'S STILL ALOT, ALOT LEFT IN THAT TROUBLED MIND.
forget it lah. nothing flows well for me. school, club, relationship, mentally and physically.
really wanna just fuck all of these, and really hope i can turn time back to when i was, when i was a baby.
well-tempered, patient, organised, not stubborn. a 'perfect' person.
probably, i wont quarrel soooooooooooooo, extremely much with my boyfriend.
i just dont know what's with me lah!
i really feel apologetic. but i find it real hard to apologise just like that!
the word "s-o-r-r-y" is damn tough to say when you really realised your mistakes.
it is already at the tip of your tongue, but somehow got stucked before your lips.

after listening to what that jackass said, i found that I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH FAULTSSSSS. you also have okay!? just that i dont wanto say out only! i know where went wrong but i just hope you'll realise your own mistakes. unfortunately, your brains only got fyp,fyp,and more fyp.
i think i've fallen to the edge of your strand of hair, behind the skull :/ and maybe, one day, as the wind blowssss...... Phew! gone.
damn sad eh like that! i dont want lah, cb.
"can you please fucking shut up and listen?! you talk non-stop!"
"can you please not be stubborn for fucking once?"
"oh lord fucking god, jesus christ. why are you 'complaining' non-stop?!"
"cha gi ya, can you stop complaining for one day?" (i talk, i never complain!)
"cha gi ya, i really cant take it anymore! can you just let me go and sleep?"
"it's bloody 12am and everyone is all asleep!" (really mea?)
"my school is different from yours." (looking down on me)
"you are so not understanding." (you dont know only, bitch)
and many more.
damn pain eh, my glassy, tiny heart.
every night before i crush, i will think back to myself if i'm really so lousy.
you, obviously find me a windbag already. how to continue?
i dont know how to.
my pride is literally crushed into the soil.
i think i should just be brave and let him off uh?
than he'll be free from 'complaints', nags, and having to forcefully call and talk for that only while, our only period of communication.
yea, i should do that!
time will heal lah!

Happy Birthday, Khim!

2010-05-18T00:25:00.001+08:00

Khim's actual 21st. Happy Birthday!
i'm so lazy to type now :/ will update again(:

i wanna die, mom.

2010-05-14T01:01:00.006+08:00

Was i really expecting something from him?
was i wrong hoping that he could spend more time with me? wait,is that considered as an 'expectation'?
i really feel our time together is really minimising and diminishing.
am i really complaining alot? or was that an interpretation of 'being chatty'?
am i being a nuisance now? i asked if he was sick and tired, he said, "tired."
Mother fucker. what exactly did i do wrong?tell me, i try my best to change em'.
if i've texted you at the wrong timing, than tell me lah!
ignore my message till late 12plus am, how will i feel?
call me just before youre sleeping, just to say a 'Goodnight, cha gi ya, i'm very tired today in school." HOW WILL I FEEL?
you dont understand woman at all.
if i'm becoming more of a hindrance than help, GOD FUCKING TELL ME.
YOU DONT TELL ME ANY SINGLE SHIT, HOW AM I SUPPOSE NOT TO HALLUCINATE AND THINK?
and i didnt even breathe a single thing to anyone about how i exactly feel at all.
SO THIS IS WHAT BEING FAIR IS ALL ABOUT???? FUCK IT. CCB

P.s will ending this relationship be a better solution for us? you can solely concentrate on your work, neednt have to fret about relationship issues, no need to talk about those non-existent, "you want me to quit school and stick with you forever isit?" a real, final, thorough breakup will be better?? cb, fucking sian ley. hg lah!
i also dont wanto always mention about breakup okay, mr jung? but if it's better for the both of us, than i'll do it.
why isit that all the things that i do, nobody recognises any of it?
fuck ley, go and sleep lah, cb.Fuck My Life.

Pondering hard :/

2010-05-09T02:53:00.002+08:00

"If you wait for me, i will come back and ..............."(Fill in the blanks)
I'm cracking my brains hard now.
Though i really felt blessed and 'wanted' but,
"What kind of mentality were you when you told me?"
"Are you absolutely for real?"
"You said that to cajole me, test on me or what?"
"Were you trying to secure me, or you just want me selfishly for yourself?"
so on and so on..............
Than continued,
"too early to discuss about things of such?"
"Or is it the right time now?Youre a Year3 now, and very soon, graduate and than leave and soar."

Dang!
Seriously, DONT TELL ME THINGS LIKE THAT IN FUTURE ANYMORE! I'M REALLY AFRAID HAVING TO FACE THE SAME SITUATION AGAIN! IF YOURE DOING IT FOR THE SAKE OF SWEET-TALKING, TALK ABOUT OTHER THINGSSSSSSSSSSSS! THERE ARE SOOOOOO MANY MORE THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT YOU CAN SHIT ABOUT! damn heart-shattering one eh! if it's not what i imagined to be and most importantly, PAISEH, THROW FACE! My ego and pride very high one okay?

FUCK MY DRAMATIC LIFE LAH, CB.

Happy Mother's Day to all (;

Yahoooooooooo!~

2010-05-06T19:53:00.002+08:00

I've finally deactivated my Facebook! (:

I had a damn magical dream last night.
must be because of last week's cake baking.
I baked loads and loads of cakes!
shapes of Simpsons, SouthPark, etc etc.
YoungHwan was freakingly impressed.
a pity. a dream will always remain as a dream :/

Projects are all on the neck!
JiaYou fellow classmates ((((:

my throat hurts even badly. will i suffer from throat cancer?

Byebye.

2010-04-29T01:27:00.003+08:00

there it goes.

Sigh. school is really getting much on my nerves.
everything's cramped together, yet again.
the events, the projects, the proposals, etc etc.

p.s. Get well soon, take good rest and care. Drink more water!
p.s. I never once made use of you.

drama-o-rama

2010-04-25T01:25:00.006+08:00

The plant i saw in my dream since young, and that dream repeated a couple of times. DAMN SURE! happen to find them in younghwan's condo's swimming pool, as decorating plants -....-

Had 'World's Greatest Row PartII' today.
now that i thought of, shouldve bought younghwan the indian smelling colonge.
provoke me somemore lah! asshole.
but to think of it, our relationship is really dramatic.AHAHAHA.
thrash things out at a poolside table, talk until pekchek, vulgarities start flowing out from our mouths, bang table, kick chairs, throw wallet, he walked away, i gave chase with the present, forced him to accept, we lili-lala under the rain,quarrelled at a deserted busstop; with all the irritating cars-driving-pass-sounds, and yea.
wah,serious. mediacorp, i am not bad an actor. yh also.we both can act pretty well.
contact me if you need us. Thank you.

dine at Kallang's coffeeshop's zi-char. coincidentally met my family.
wah, they paid for our food. damn shiok!Thanks ar.
than we eat lo! but damn spicy. i somehow couldnt take it (:

This was how we celebrated JUNGYOUNGHWAN's birthday! (Y)

Teegong,Allah, God O' Heavenly Father,etc.

2010-04-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

please, guide me again.
teach me what to do, adn to see the real facts.
i really wanna come clear of all these and stop making wild guesses.
thank you! :D

2010-04-23T00:22:00.002+08:00

TAN WEI CHENG!
stay firm, stay strong, stay brave!
only a few days away!
TAHAN!!
i think i'm really growing sick.
whenever im alone on the way home in that 'long-distance' train, when i listen to songs, even heavy metal, i feel like crying.why so? my life is really pathetic i guess?some people just do not have problems as much as i do. why? because i fret over things tooooooo much? or are these just problems that will surface non-stop?
i dont know. really dont.
GO AWAY LAHHHHHHHHH. stop corrupting my mind!

went to Ed's home today. for steamboat(:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ED! HOPE YOULL LIKE MY SMALL GIFT!^^
i added more things to it okay, not just the 10 packets of sweets, ppl! hahahha!
i added a sponge and a uber big sized cup noodle! :D

It's obviously a hard-core stalker! :D

2010-04-22T02:10:00.006+08:00

Went out with my Blazers this evening. (BlazeCamp, camp-mates)
3rd outing but my 1st meetup with them (:
went to watch this play.
and thank God i didnt have to pay anything because i really dont understand what the whole play was about! all i knew,"the musician damn good! he really damn hell solo-ed everything!"
and so, i rotted in that bad seat throughout the whole play. Damn uncomfortable!!
but at certain point in time, quite hilarious, i must say! :D
If you guys got excess money, go give it a try! (((:

Now that i've realised:
wow, Shuhui & Elin have been friends for helly 16years. and i've known my other guy friends for 6 years.
it's been so long already! coolshit!

i havent been able to study in school recently. i cant focus at all! ive no idea why.
i just wanna sleeeeeeeeeeep to my heart's content! till i really really think it's enough.
right now, not even a quarter yet :/
and my teachers, i supposed, lost a lil faith in me ):
give me time aye? i'll get them back on track! :D
Oh, the circle line is darn cool! really helped me saved loads of time! Like 5stops away from Bishan??Soooooooooooo convenient!
let me be greedy. build one Oval line at Aljunied. 1 stop away from Bishan, travelling distance, 3mins. i'll really be a vegetarian for life!^^

P.S. Thanks for opening and sharing(: God Bless!

2010-04-20T23:28:00.002+08:00

i am just gonna bring 10 freaking dollars to school every Tuesday!
Bloody hell! i spent 20 over dollars just on food today! TMD!
now is my crucial period to save for this weekend,and next week and i'm still spending like nobody's business!
i've been very lethargic these days!
forever not enough sleep! ):
really hope my plan/s wouldnt be gushed down the drain

2010-04-17T13:43:00.002+08:00

Really a BIG THANK YOU to those who helped, listened, commented, advised, blah blah blah to all my woes.
i just completed ONLY HALF OF Bukit Timah Nature Reserve with younghwan.
bleeding helly exhausted. but i enjoyed greatly! you guys must, must, must try it too, if you havent!
and, yea. for those who were concerned of my r/s, we've patched things up. hahaha, to some, "Yea, expected this would be the outcome" but for myself, i really struggled alot, alot before i made and finalized my decision, with the help of many.
Yea, im off to enjoy my Saturday! bye!

2010-04-12T23:03:00.003+08:00

i didnt manage to do my speech today.
was really upset and disappointed.but, it's okay lah(:
i got so much more to blog, but, i lose all my inspiration in writing suddenly.hahaha.
anyway, TBZ, i'm sorry if i'm disobedient again.
but i really dont want to 'test' it. ive thought about it.
if i were to know my loved one is testing out on me, i'll be really really disappointed.
i dont want that.
i wanto respect him, respect the relationship.
i know you adviced because you really regarded me as a good friend, dont wanna see me upset. but i really cant do it.
it's against my own will.hahaha, dramma mama. really. damn it.
so, if we really were to 'piak' one day, at least i know i've never done anything to let him down (:
i will still take into consideration if i still want this relationship.
if it's mine, it'll eventually be mine no matter when, where, how, what, who, why.
i know, this is my own choice, be it the consequences.
thanks for the advices anyway! (:
God bless.HAHAHAH!
OH YA,you should really grab it if you found it.hahaha. dont let it pass you by!
wish you luck!

i might have to change my mind :/

2010-04-11T12:18:00.003+08:00

it's always happens when he has to travel to find me.
fucking hell. we agreed to meet at 11am. travelling time for any of us is an hour.
if i can travel to his place by that hour, why cant he?
and it was him who wanted to come o'er to aljunied to find me.than? 12pm and he is still asleep at home. FTW. than meet for fuck?
i really think i'm been taken time and again for granted. i swear.
in order to meet him as early as possible, i'd try my best to wake up on time, LIKE GOD FUCKING 9AM.what is this man, serious.
i really fell for those words you said the other day in the bus. and i thought i really made a right choice to stay strong and await for the 5 damned years.
now, i might have to reconsider again.
if we cant maintain a r/s well in one country alone, what proves that we'll be able to stay together in that 5 damned years, one in S'pore, and the other, America, UK or Korea?
i need time.
and fuck. this is really dramatic, i swear!
my life is really getting dramatic these days!

He just called.
fucking bitch.
called to reprimand me, say i'm childish, immature.
for fuck's sake, ARE YOU THAT MATURE??? YOURE NOT ALSO! THAN DONT ACT AS IF YOU ARE.
We go our separate ways, serious. i want back my normal, singlehood life.
i wont retreat this time anymore. no way.
YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

2010-04-09T00:55:00.001+08:00

i must be totally insaneeeeeeeeeee! good grief!

BACK FROM CAMP!

2010-04-07T23:00:00.003+08:00

Yay! (Y)
been waiting for this day!
camp was so-so. i dont like the lecture part. i dont think anyone would.
one lecture = 2 - 3.5 hours -,- no link.
Really wanna thank Salihin LOADS! had he not helped me sneak out of campsite for sumptous supper, i'd definitely die of boredom!
SANK YOU! ^^
slept and died flat the minute i landed my bum at home.
slept all the way till now, 10++. shiok ar! :B
today kayak, tomorrow, wildwildwet????(((:
left afew days of the holidays.gotta make full use of every inch!
and, you've no idea how much i missed my favourite drink, Milo!
so much so till i feel like crying my lungs out every night! :DDD

MILO, MILO! HOOGA,SHAGA, HOOGA SHAGA!

2010-04-05T06:44:00.003+08:00

byeeeeeee.off for the camp :/
be back on Wednesday.AHHHHHH,BURNT MY LAST FEW DAYS OF HOLIDAYS AWAY.
DONT BE SOOOOOO DUMB IN FUTURE AND DECIDE BEFORE ANYTHING.
WORSE OF ALL,LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES AND GET YOURSELF TOTALLY DEMORALISED -,-

'at least the others showed more concern :/'

2010-04-04T01:13:00.003+08:00

FASIO MASCARA IS SO TOUGH TO REMOVE!
I went out today thinking, i might have to hear 'hurtful' words from YH(we had an agreement!), was afraid the normal waterproof mascara would smurdge, hence, free from eyeliner and used Fasio because i wanted Japanese kind of defined, neat, waterproof mascara.
How the hell would i've thought that it'll be so tough to remove!
after applying removal, washed with make-up removal cleanser and i still gotta toughly, forcefully pluck out the solidfied mascara.
fuck ley, i think i've plucked 1/5 of my eyelashes.
hell knows if they'll grow back to normal; my long and volumous ):

went out with YH and his friends for bbq/steamboat today.
than, shisha-ed at Haji.
had fun! but, my poor lashes..........
my head is spinning now.because of just now's beer?? haha, i'm a lousy drinker :/

Bottle Tree Park!

2010-04-02T23:38:00.003+08:00

Bottle Tree Park is of NO FUN
probably today's a bad day; because of some Family Day in some estate.
Prawning pond, flooded with prawning rods -,-
Guppies pond, flooded with children catching and killing fishes -,-
Fish pond, flooded with the fish food and those HUMONGOUS FISHES!
really big eh! I dont think Qinggui's muscles can tahan the weight also :/
oh, btw, qing went with me, to check out on the place first, before i bring Kimchi over.
now, im having second thoughts on bringing him over.HAHAH.
I've been having weird dreams lately ):

2010-04-01T23:24:00.004+08:00

31st March.

Totally AWESOME!I like!
Met YH and his mom at ShawHouse, than went to Borders.
His mom and him read about TOEFL, i read an article in "TIME", a snow leopard from Afghanistan died. damn sad.that fella's freaking pathetic. transport here, transport there, at last died ):
There goes another endangered animal.ByeBye!

1st April.

Our 8th monthsary.
went for 'Clash of the Titans.'
So-so only. lousy choice to watch at ShawBugis -,-
damn gross.
everything there is disgusting!
The seats, the screen&seats' difference, wah wah wah.
smelly, neck-pain, and the air con is god damn cold!
Yes, younghwan, im complaining now(:

After movie, YH went home, his Dad asked him to gym.
went out with Qing, got a free drink from Salihin(Thanks!), walked to Orchard, rotted, chatted, waited for JinQiang to knock off. That fella havent changed a bit. TOTALLY NONSENSICAL, but a good joker(:

TOEFL, TOEFL, TOEFL............

2010-03-29T22:36:00.008+08:00

The show i wore yesterday at work.
My LEGS ALMOST BECAME ROTTEN!!!!!
never act classy and 'professional'. i will never ever wear that to work anymore.

DAMN! Spent more than 30mins importing and exporting pictures here and there and there and here. SHIAT. The new version is so tough to use! PUI!
Tell me, 'Blogger is testing my patience.' Grrrrr.

My tattered red blanket (:

2010-03-28T01:11:00.003+08:00

Yay! going to Sentosa tomorrow again! this time round, with family.
Grandma's never been on the monorail before.so we're gonna take her there(:
and explore Imbiah and picnic at Palawan and shows at the Amphitheatre!
woots!
Sigh. missed clubbing again :/ gotta work tmr night :/
Sokyen must be dancing her ass off now. with Sal and Billy.
AND BARNABAS???!! haha, sok told me she saw Barnabas at ClakeQuay today.
i'll remember him for life man. the first guy i crushed during my secondary school period for helly 2 years! hahaha. fuck it. i was so childish and innocent then! 2 years....joke eh.

damn chiong ar! holding on 2 jobs now(: i hope my working days will be more regular! my holidays are ending!
just hope i'm able to save more money, return my debts to my sisters, save the remaining money and plan a holiday.
i really, really need one, desperately. thinking too much until i cant think straight man!cant differentiate from reality. (so WOW right?)
the on-coming events im gonna plan for school; the April intake orientation, how am i gonna merge/collaborate, how am i to organise, what kind of activities to add in, the events i'm gonna run in school, my relationship, how to return it back to the old form, even his brother says i'm a nag. damn sad eh! i know i'm pretty long-winded lah, and sometimes a nag): but,i really didnt mean to.
but i dont know what the hell is wrong with me. i keep picking on him. on and off on good and bad terms,and lastly, MY FREAKING GOD DAMNED RESULTS! coming out,coming out soon! 31st, 31st!

i had a dream today.
i dreamt of Grandma/Grandpa's old house, their old bathroom.
there's a BIG hole under the pail they've always planted.and beneath the pail laid a path. a path that leads to.....CityHall or a jungle? i cant remember. i think it's a jungle.
i played hide-and-seek with my friends.
i went through a hole from the jungle/cityhall and walked all the way. than i reached Grandma/pa's bathroom!
i began observing that hole every now and then during my visit to their place.
than, i pumped alot, ALOT of water in to the hole and closed it.
but it was totally dry in there -,-
afew soldiers walked through, and spotted the bathroom, i covered the hole with a pail with water filled to the brim and a larger empty pail to cover the hole.
they managed to climb out, out the hole and landed in the bathroom.
Oh, and i woke up.

Haha, who can interpret dreams, tell me what mine meant!
:D

2010-03-24T00:35:00.002+08:00

The mangoes are making me drowsy -,-
i dont know why.

2010-03-23T00:47:00.006+08:00

Freaking hell!
rotted the whole day at home till evening, gamed with Sok, Germaine, Sean and Malay (:
oh, and the 2 m'sia kiddos at the lan shop!
saw Norman and Shunxian, Jeremy on my way home, at the bus stop and the roads. Small world uh!
and i was just sitting beside Norman! but we didnt greet one another because we thought it'd be the wrong person! ahahaha! freaking joke!
Shunxian was driving and jeremy winded down the window. than i saw that familiar faces! but too bad, my bus came, i boarded (:
my friends contacted me just now. damn it, things happened than you all contact me. where got HUMAN SENSE?? hahha.anyway, appreciated. you guys made me feel that if i were to lose my relationship one day, you will always be there for me.
Thanks Shuhui, Elin, Sok and many others. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH, MY BITCHES! :D
i've seeked your advices, spoken to him and yea.
things must be spoken in order to clear the polluted, jinxed air.
so i guess our relationship now is less tensed?at least we joked and cocked. better than the period when we quarrelled,after awhile, hang up, hang up and more hanging up on phone calls.
all i want now is to get a job to spend my holidays.
sleeping and waking up real late recently.
minumum, 130PM. wtshit.

As for the jealousy i had in Mom and sister, all i can say is, i was inane.
trust me to actually do that! pfft. wtfuck.
think on the other hand, why Mom treated sister better could be because sister followed her to and fro from Grandma's everyday, chatted, accompanied her.
so all i can is blame myself for not seizing each and every opportunity with her, causing her to grow fonder with sister and i purely thought she was being biased.
Sigh. have i really matured and grown?hahaha! (inside joke, sal, sok)

2010-03-22T01:20:00.002+08:00

All the misfortunes, unfairness always apply to me.

why is it so?

haven't i be a good girl lately?

how can all the sway things whack into my face at the same time?

i'm jealous.so much so that i really dont know whom to share it with sometimes.

Mom has been treating sister so good nowadays, and totally neglecting me.

i dont even know if i existed in the house for the weekend when i was together with them at Grandma's place. felt totaly t.r.a.n.s.p.a.r.e.n.t.

she used to talk, crap, bullshit with me last time. and now, all at younger sister.

i know i shouldnt be jealous with her because it's childish and i'm going to be a 20 this year.

but i cant help it. seriously cant.

My relationship is at its rocks.

Robert is so going to die off one day.

i really dont wanto spend days without YoungHwan.

i really dont wanna live with regrets.

i wanted to cling onto and risk it, because i know i've tried.

Korea, how far is it? i dont travel, i dont know.

United Kingdom, where? Further than Korea right?

Korea to serve the Nation first, than UK to futher his studies.

conclusion? sooner or later also will leave.just a matter of time.

Though it's only 50%. but 50% is also alot.

it's half the battle.

You kept asking/telling if i wanto leave you right now for that reason,you can accept.

if your friends asked, "what happened to you and your previous Girlfriend?"

You'll answer,"i'm returning to Korea. She wanted a long-lasting relationship. so we broke off"

thats what you told me.

i remembered, word-for-word.

and you added, "No matter what, We will still remain as friends."

you once said that once you've broken off with your Gf, you wont wanto remain as friends with her, because feelings might rekindle and it will affect your current relationship.

Youre right, absolutely. So, i'd rather we go along your initial idea.

I really wanted to be selfish.

but, BUT. let's say.

if we're still together, you will be the one affected because you couldve pursued your studies.but because of me and this small Singapore, it hindered your life.

would i feel good or better? No, i wont. i'll be guilt-ridden even more.

If i let you off, you'll benefit.

Benefit from studies, and many other more.

So, in conclusion, WE ARE FROM DIFFERENT PLANET.

WE OUGHT TO GET TO WHERE WE BELONGED.

Sorry YoungHwan. but i dont wanna text or ring you up anymore.

Guys, just leave me alone and let me be.

i will be well.

i know y'all wanna show concern. but i dont want.

i'm an egoistic, thick headed person. i dont like ppl to pity me.

HAHAHA. like drama right??

Yea, i feel my life like those of dramas right now.

full of obstacles and covered with shit.

i really feel unfair, but what can i do?

2010-03-20T22:42:00.001+08:00

ROT AHHHHH!!
what a rotty,rotten, rotex Saturday ):

my 10hrs-of-sleep-per-day is back!

2010-03-20T00:05:00.003+08:00

movie for consecutive 2 days! woohoo! once with Grandma and Mom and sisters; 'Happy Go Lucky' and yesterday, 'Cop Out' with Cha Gi Ya (:
Happy Go Lucky is a waste of money. really -,-
but somehow, i dono how, mom and Grandma enjoyed it to bits, they said.
ironic.
went out with YH today also.after i handed my things to school.
Wow, sway lah.heard loads of inauspicious stuff :/ making me uncomfortable from head to toe!
Dang!
Freaking worried for my results.Sigh. no idea if i can maintain my GPA :/Hack care lah.
whats done cannot be undone. Continue enjoying the holidays man!
Job hunting is me (: Any lobang, ring me! XIEXIEs! :D

Oh sal, all the best for your oncoming Barista Competition.(i dont know when)
BUT, too much caffeine is bad for the skin! dont drink too much, Bro!

2010-03-18T02:24:00.004+08:00

sho coooolz!! iie cann c muii brogg's youtube viideox iin muii fone,but nort iin swalihin's iphone!
yay! which means my Samsung is way better ((((:

1hour10mins50secs.Yes! I LIKE IT! :D
my negative thoughts are driving me to a corner sometimes.i will start finding faults with bf,initiate umpteen breakups until even me,myself is sian-ed.much to say him. but i cant stop myself from all these nonsense.no idea why either.im born a pervert sometimes?yes,and maybe my friends are right."if im really losing confidence in this r/s,in myself,than stop these thoughts!if not they'll really hypnotise and take control over one day." please,shoo.go away,baddie.
i really dont wanna end this r/s.not at all.i was just trying to throw tantrums,act bitchy,and maybe to 'spice' things up abit(:

anyway,chalet was full of shit and fun!thought a chalet is pretty not in the trend now.HAHAHA, but, got to know my friend's inside out(:
e.g. "munch munch munch on dono what when he is sleeping", "turn on the lights!", "drunk and sleep after vomitting for 2hours than cock again",etc,etc.
Enjoyed myself thoroughly! hope you guys did too!

FOOOOOOOOOOOD.

2010-03-15T00:38:00.002+08:00

Jimmie wanna eat KFC now, Now, NOW!!!!!!!

superb craves surged through me!
Who, who, who wanna go with me?!

2010-03-14T14:54:00.005+08:00

How many donkey weeks since i last posted something up??i should remove this deserted blog soon(:
i'm upset and a huge bit of disappointment :/but, what to do? live with it lo~

Yes! i found the book i loaned from the school library, called my house ten thousand times just to remind me to return that.

21dec2009's the deadline. haha.

the book looked tasty and nice.

wont be returning so soon!~

Aljunied and King Albert's McDonald's had a swop?

That Tigger boy freaking cute.hahaha (:

my cute bf! ^^

i'm done with my taiwan drama. no difference from those i watched years back. storylines, all one kind. but, more humour.HAHA. "Misu Misu", "yu-zou-bu-bu!~" fucking cute.(:
next up, Korean addictions again! after im back from chalet yea?

Oh, it's raining like nobody's business o'er at my place now ):

2010-03-10T00:34:00.002+08:00

what the hell is wrong with me today man!
cant focus at all! losing concentration the minute i open my book and my hand-written notes.
tmr's the paper and i just started revising.
first was Drama. than, McDonald's. Next, my beautiful comfy bed :/ Gross shit.
yea, continue whining, dudette.
guess im too into the holidays-mood already?? :D which is a good thing!

i was so desperate looking for a place to study, i went to my neighboring void deck to study last night and the mosquitoes bit my butt -,-
itch, swollen and very pain. sucked alot of blood lo! and now, im scratching like nobody's business and the heat is there~ yea, on my ass. WHY SO SWAY!?

Faster end and give me my holidays!

HAPPY 7th MONTH!

2010-03-02T00:34:00.003+08:00

yes, yes, yes.
our 7th month(:
went to science centre today.
wtf. lousy and expensive! where's the link!?
like totally no change since our primary school days' time!
and the BodyWorlds, which ive been hankering since long time back, was just a so-so also.
my favorite animals sacrificed, stunk themselves there.
yes, giraffe and horse ):
and most of the exhibits were Males! you can see the blah blah blah 'hanging' there, in a whole piece (:
what an adventure! learnt new things! :D

afterwhich, younghwan brought me to 'his' country club.
we played table tennis there!
last play was like, primary 4???
than pool-ed, watched teevee; Okto's MrBean and the Matrix. ha ha.

forgot to take pictures! Grrrrr.
spent time talking, chatting on the way back. and yea, concluded, after so so so so long, that i should be magnanimous, open-minded and stop minding his pastsssssss and be so skeptical with every single thing on earth.

so younghwan, i'd like to dedicate a song to you:(if youve been visiting my deserted blog, which i doubt so) YOU NABEH, YOU BETTER UPDATE YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR GF MORE!

Campfire song - Google it yourself! :D Freaking cute! Go learn it! (:
I call this one the “Campfire Song song
let’s gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song
our c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e s-o-n-g song
and if you don’t think that we can sing it faster then you’re wrong
but it’ll help if you just sing aloooooong…
(Bum…Bum…Bum…)
c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e s-o-n-g song
c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e s-o-n-g song
and if you don’t think that we can sing it faster then you’re wrong
but it’ll help if you just sing along
c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e s-o-n-g song. Patrick!
P:Song!!! c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e ---
SQUIDWARD!*silence*
GOOD!!!
I’ll help!
I’ll heeeeeeelp!!!
If you just sing aloooooooong! (BOOM! CRASH!)
OH YEAH!!!!

the 15th day.

2010-02-28T21:44:00.004+08:00

Woohooo! i've another supporter! thanks ar, Jacky (:
ahahha. not bad, you kind of made my day a little.hahaha.

ahhh,splitting headache. *ouch,ouch, ouch!*
and am still at Grandma's place. bored, nothing to do ):
yay, today's the 15th day of CNY!
no need to eat, eat, eat non stop lo! ^^
i feel i've put on weight -,-
eating non stop. especially the oily,fatty, bak kwa.hahha!
i went on the weigh today to take my weight.
bloody 48kg! wtf! i highly suspect the weigh man. when i took in school, 53.9kg.
but when Khim took, 45kg. nabeh. now what? be happy or suspect it? HA HA HA.

Congratulations!
i was the major winner today during mahjong!
omg! i simply feel like a pro. so long never play, skills are still as good!^^
sorry ar, aunt doris, orion, khim (: oh, and darren. who came and join in for the last 2 rounds and in the end? MONEY ALL CAME TO MY SIDE! ha ha ha. apologies!

today is wrecked.

2010-02-27T23:20:00.003+08:00

cant believe what they say is real unless i see for myself, yet again (:
really dont have that face!

today is totally wrecked.
embarrassed myself ):
so ugly. thank god the NON WATERPROOF lousy eyeliner didnt smudge much.
else, i wouldnt even wanna go home visiting anywhere else.
haiyah.......why am i still so bothered!?
it's carved within me already. and sooner, im gonna go crazy by these!
wtfffffff.
maybe i still dont feel totally assured of my bf? dont really trust him wholefully?
but, whenever we talk about it, somehow, i dono how, i feel that he still has 'things' for her ):
i just have that feeling! and he denies it most of the time.
fwarck. i'd rather he'lll be frank than letting me feel these.and i trust myself alot.
sigh, sigh, sigh.
God, take me away. make my life and others' easier.
and my parents might be happier without me since im always a troublemaker ):
Anyway, Hope to see 'you' guys get better! (:

Hello! i'm back!

2010-02-25T00:55:00.002+08:00

since sooooooooo many ppl are hot fans for my blog, ahemm, than just unlock lo!
cant be helped. i'm simply just too popular (:
read through everything, "Wow, Jimmie can be a real bitch at times!" and is very petty when it comes to her relationship.
well, well, what to do?
complain and whine lo.

MARCH 10, YOU HELLY FASTER COME! I WANT MY HOLIDAYS!

damn!

2010-02-18T21:05:00.003+08:00

WTFFFFFFF!
what nonsense is that!?
dont give me that shit that 8thJuly-ers have the fetish for even the SAME TYPE OF MUSIC.
totally insane.cbbbb
and that JYH.mother fucker.
say what never add **** in fb. but behind, PEEPED INTO HER PROFILE, using the brother's account.
so mr jung, whats the difference???
also got see right?
i really still mind alot, to be frank.
very irritating, i know. but i simply cant help it either ):
how? Bravely gulp down a whole bottle of liquor, find one nice bathtub, fill it with red wine, slash my wrist(camouflage)??

Virus infested.

2010-02-14T01:30:00.002+08:00

mrs lee's trojan horse passed on to my sister's netbook. im sooooooooooooo........ sigh.
swear and curse also no use.
JYH gave me a surprise today (:
he gave me flowers! A bouquet! he hand-made himself! ^^
with the help of MrsJung also (:
thank you, aunty!
wah, im so damn speechless.
it's my first time receiving a bouquet from someone. and its handmade.
does this mean i stand a quite impt place in his tiny pumping red heart? i hope so, you know (:
and i hope we can really last for as long as possible.
i really, really, wanto commit wholefully into this guy, JYH.
regardless if his dad stereotypes me as an ite student, i must do well. both school and life.
so that i can gain acceptance in seeing his son.
yh says his dad wont be so controlling till that extend.
but in any case, just play safe (:
if it doesnt, all the better!
i had the best night in 2010 i guess? thank you yh. sarang hae! <3

2010-02-10T01:41:00.002+08:00

SCHOOL IS TIRING ME OUT!
IM SO AFRAID OF SCHOOL NOW!
how i wish i can be with YH 24/7. how nice.
we can talk cock non stop all the way ):
so stressed with work.hopefully, teacher will understand me (:
but i doubt so. theres a evil bitch in there! yuck!
TMD!

2010-02-01T21:11:00.002+08:00

AWWWW! totally insane!
spring cleaning sinced the minute i reached home!
till now!
so shagged, so tired, so sleepy.
freaking tired.
gotta continue with my event.
more budget. 1.5k -.-
so much!

2010-01-28T22:59:00.002+08:00

im a longwinded person uh?
so long winded till after talking for 5mins, he eagerly wanto hang up on me. fuck.
forget it. guys are these jerks. bitches.
blocked my blog for so many days, yet, he didnt realise at all.
meant? he didnt even bother to look into it.
wtf.
cb
hack care lo lah. see how things go.
the most......................yeah.

2010-01-26T00:33:00.003+08:00

Listen to others:
endure, tolerate first before acting rashly again.
thanks jo. loads. for listening me out (:
sigh. thank god ive got pretty loads of stuff to do in school.else, i think i'll wonder and think like some bitch again.

no idea why. PMS or just forseeing that day?
whenever we're together, time always seemed so limited. and things will go on well.
but when we're not there, i'll begin to think,guess, get overly sensitive about stuff.
it's really freaking me out.
time and again, i wanted to let go. just let go and lead life on my own again. somehow, i just couldnt do it.
feelings are too attached and that, could sometimes be a disadvantage.
sigh, it will always come to me," why cant we be like others?" " why isit that theyre able to commit everyday, regardless how crazy schoolwork can get to be?" "why isit that he is always telling me that he's sorry for this, for that and i'll get irritated easily?" "am i not understanding enough?or isit that it's just way beyond my limit already?"
i'm that kind of girl, i wont be so much affected if that fella were to be my friend, brother, buddy.
he gave me sooooo many excuses or reasons(i cant differentiate myself now either), im beginning to think if his friends were right to say that of him from the start.
can he actually know how am i feeling?
we re really drifting. further. ):
should i just be brave and just let go?

i am a joke.

2010-01-24T01:19:00.003+08:00

not a joker ):
first time in my life, i cried infront of guy. really c.r.y.
tears somersaulting, rolling down from my eyes. talk also in that very 'crying' tone.
AHHHHHHH! WHY COULDNT I TAHAN!? nabeh.

weicheng is trying to challenge the guiness world's record. within 5months, attempt to breakup 5 times.(from yh's record)
cried because of guilt -.-
really dono why sometimes i treat yh like shit, he still choose to be benevolent.
thank you. jin ja ro.

wah, really crushed my ego eh! why couldnt i control!?
i think hor... the only ones who seen me "really cry" before, shuhui and elin.
the rest.. i think only watery eyes.
really joke.

went dinner with daryl, hyung, jordan and jyh.
the last time i saw jordan..... that time we went palau ubin? yeah.
than he went back to camp, the rest of us, L4D2 again.

cocked up, badly.

2010-01-22T19:31:00.003+08:00

Congrats, Shannon!

our dear friend became the president of BL! (bridge leaders)

held my first organised meeting with the folks.

things dont look well, weic.

ahhhhhh! why is it so tough!

no choice. i made the decision, i need to be responsible.

i wanna go tanning tomorrow~

feeling extremely lousy.

2010-01-21T22:07:00.003+08:00

nothing special happened.
went back to school to help in painting the fiesta's banner, ate with jacky,headed home.
had a pretty awesome chat. talked talked talked....all the way to kallang.
not a bad fello!

Goat's milk tablets.

2010-01-20T22:04:00.002+08:00

eeeeww! tastes weird! *vomit*
Mom bought this stuff. to aid in my 'digestion'.pharmist told her it's good for sensitive/indigestion.
Mom, it tastes really weird.but, thanks for that thought! LOVE YOUUUUU TO THE MAX LAH!
Goats, goats goats. remind me of 'Drag me to hell' and Jon's Goat's milk experience on their group excursion, and my excursion with my group to visit the little, tiny goats in little india!haha!

went to school early at 8am. for a meeting.
life's gonna be more fruitful for me uh? (: and stressing, of course.
SBSC, Yog volunteer till August, Laos in march, not forgetting, projects projects, assignments, assignments!!
i dont know if i'm able to excel in that but i certainly hope for the best! who dont??hahaha.lameshit.
BUCK UP AHHHHHHHHHHHH! 加油, 加油, 加油, 加油!!
HUATTTTTTTT.

Daybreakers!

2010-01-19T22:38:00.002+08:00

with Cha gi ya! :]

shocked a couple of times.

younghwan says i cant watch shocking/horror/ghost movies.

cos' im too timid. i'll have nightmares.

SAYS WHO!?

you dont act! you were shocked also!

seeing africans wearing tudong, you also got shocked,

touching your face from the back with my icy, cold hands, you were shocked too.

who's more jialat!??????

had a fun day today (:

bruised shin :/

2010-01-18T23:00:00.002+08:00

ya lor, ya lor!
damn! imagine hurting the same leg, 3 times within 2 days, almost the same spot(maybe afew cm apart)
1st: Grandma's bedroom's toiletbowl -.-
2nd: Grandma's glass table -.-
3rd: my house's glass table -.-
really OOOOUUUCCCHHHHHHHHH man.
and, the bruises are buried. i got Mom to rub it hard hard! (blood circulation!)
now, the multiple colors have surfaced -...- and 'hump-y' -...-

cha gi ya-less day.

2010-01-17T19:10:00.005+08:00

even sinced my Classic120GB went to heaven, i haven updated myself of the songs available here and there.ah, gross!

Bloghopped, boing boing boing!
assignments, projects, exams are really loads of an irritance.
every blog i hopped to, bound to read about assignments, projects, blah blah blah.
making myself moreeeeeeeeee s.i.a.n.e.d.

made loads and loads of sushi this noon! with Tommie and Mom ((:
totally insane. that thing's really awesome!
the sushi-maker Gary bought for Tommie.hahahaha.
felt like i'm back to my old-childhood days.moulding playdoh, thinking and imagining theyre delicacies! but this time, it's playing with real food.

Holy! why am i not living one street away from JYH!? or vice versa?
i'm missing my boyfriend, a very,teenie,weenie, small bit now :/
what happened to me uh? i'm like..... suddenly very "into" JYH. SOOOOO GAY!!!
i must stop myself from liking him too much!
gotta find more, more, more things to do! to keep myself distracted!

and why am i smelling CRABMEAT everywhere!? wts.

stress, blow blow away!

2010-01-17T01:13:00.002+08:00

aye, i found the right person to talk to.hahaha!
thanks uh, salihin! for your encouragement(:
you really rescued me man! else, i think i wont be able to sleep lying down tonight!
i'd prolly be sleeping, sitting, rocking my head, to and fro. (like someone, whose mom told us about her when she was little!) hahahahhaha!
clique, you know, i know luh! dono answer?? text me man! i'll update you WHOLFULLY! :DDD

yup, just take on only lah! it's gonna be fun and challenging!
it's only probation period!
no harm giving it a try eh?
fear that ppl will talk behind your back?
well, thats life. just learn to ignore and just look after your own ass! (:
be conscience clear. dont steal, dont rob, dont snatch.hahahahah!
prove that i am not a useless person,
prove that eventhough weic is freaking reaching 2o this year, she've finally learnt to face and not run away from hiccups, stress.
go go power ranger!~ (((: lameshit.

spent my day with cha gi ya. at NP.hahaha -.-
i'll be really occupied this whole month -.-
chui lah! okok, stop whining.
less time with cha gi ya? definitely will. but we should be able to keep our relationship stronger.
right cha gi ya? technology so advanced! 10cents' public phone, and it'll bring me to my boyfriend's voice! (:
was really guilty for peeping into 'it'
sorry cha gi ya, i was a dog for that one minute.
i wont do it again. if i wanna see , i'll do it infront of you ((((:
and dont treat me so well! i'll feel even more guilty and shitty!
thank uh.

yawn! :O
weic is tired.
time for bed!
tomorrow will be a better day!

in life.......

2010-01-10T22:28:00.003+08:00

FOR SHUHUI:

"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning." -Bill Gates(1955)

FOR ELIN:

"Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit." -Vince Lombardi(1913 - 1970)

FOR WEICHENG:

"You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday.

You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity." -Epicurus (341 - 270BC)

very "wow" right??

hahahha, i copied it from a book on my sister's bed.

the whole book is all about all these quotes! 100. 100 of these -.-

didnt know theyll read things like that! hahah!

so philosophic! cool lah! thumbs up!

what i did yesterday:

-Kimchi's mommy fell sick. so we went to the hospital to visit her.

Get well soon, Aunty! (:

Realised 'another' side of YoungHwan. rather impressed (:

He knows how to cook; porridge and egg.hahaha!

he can do housework (dishwashing, and maybe throwing all the laundries into the washing machine)

he can help to eat up all the food at home.

he is a very caring person. (always worried for his mom)

Eh eh eh, not many guys can do these at this century you know?

so my boyfriend is an impressive one! and i am uber lucky(at times only)

Good boy,son! :D

-Next, Sylvest's bday celebration!

wasnt an impressive one, though.

sorry Syl, we're all cash strapped.

Had we more money, we'll definitely do something grand-er!

rather than food and lan(getting killed and killing others) and a slice of mad jack's cake.

really very apologetic!!!!! i'm sorry!

After which, i left the rest, and went home.

contact lens damn dry ar!

making me damn damn uncomfortable with the red, pricky and lenses-keep-moving-upwards-from-my-pupil eyes.

Today:

-woke up only around 3pm.

wow, think i really gamed too much.

i kept dreaming about myself in L4D!

Khim, WeiYing, Orion and myself were the players.

the first map was in S'pore.
Second map, Korea -.- dono why there.
gotta take a plane, so we were at the airport.
the plane was about to leave, so we hurried our way.

we were soooooo close to the plane.
than this three straight rows of zombies came out.
shoot, shoot, shoot.

Grandma was attacked by Smoker.

i cant aim well. so i ran all the way upfront to shoot its tongue till it snaps off.

than we continued with the killings of other zombies.

we failed. i fell onto the ground, with only +30 HP.

and yar, that's all i dreamt about.

too addicted. No good, no good!

even dreamt of chagiya telling me he'll come over to my place to fetch me at 2:35pm.

i remembered the time clearly. 2:35pm

when i woke up at 3, i thought i was late, so i immediately text him if we were supose to meet.

only when i woke up from my senses, than realised i was dreaming, still.

damn it.embarrassed myself!

-went to grandma's place to brainstorm for all my projects on hand.

crazy shit.everlasting projects faster dieeeeee! :D

Last one.

"Each of us will one day be judged by our standard of life, not by our standard of living;

by our measure of giving, not by our measure of wealth;

and by our simple goodness, not by seeming greatness." -William Arthur Ward(1921 - 1994)

nice one.

2010-01-09T00:31:00.002+08:00

why are we living sooooooo faraway from each other? ):
really hope we're just afew blocks apart sometimes.
so that i can lame with him when he's not well or, oh well, just at the very least, be beside him.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

2010-01-08T22:18:00.003+08:00

Things i saw before i reached home:
- alot of indians/ bangalas (they always love alighting at Aljunied)
- a lady stepped on an already dead cockroach, and its damaged wings flew out from the sole of
her shoes. totally yucky!
- Jeric, again. Not bad eh, Gf quite pretty (: and..... his voice havent changed abit sinced
Primary6. WHAT HAPPENED,DUDE!??! hahahaha!
Consecutive 3 days of L4D2. Totally insane!
yesterday, today and tomorrow -....- i'm training to be a gamer, with intention to join the worldcybergames lahhhhh ((((:
Projects are piling like Mt. everest -..-
all have to be handed up by the end of this month.
guess tomorrow's the last day of fun and off to mug for projects.i dont want, i dont want!
That's all, folks!

back to school.

2010-01-05T00:14:00.003+08:00

means more, more, more things to fret about :/
how, how, how?
an absolutely innocent and simple-minded person wont be able to think things straight and solve them within a short period of time :/
'Human beings tend to 'emo' more when it falls in the night, because there are lesser or no activities and companion.'
Yea, true. and i'm caught in that too! GRRRRRR.
what to do? we're human beingsssssssssssss!than???
continue to emo lah! still wait for what!? hahaha!
sigh.
Really damn pathetic sometimes.
nobody seemed to know how exactly i am stucked in this predicament.
a predicament, i'm not totally sure of as well.
combinations of everything and i really feel like snapping/blowing off soon.
i dont wanto share.not even bf, cos a huge part consists of himself too.
cant blame him, he isnt aware of anything.
why is it that i'm always affected by ppl greatly? i hate it. really.

2010-01-03T00:00:00.001+08:00

dont think i'll be able to pull through much longer :/

counting down!

2009-12-31T22:58:00.006+08:00

New Year's eve.

nobody to go out with. or maybe the mood of celebrating have had shattered. hahaha!

went out shopping with Mom and Grandma this noon.

went home after dinner.too packed.

another hour to the new year.

wishing all a happy ever new year!

be happy!

Gonna play color cards with Mom again!

Mommy's the best! :D

New Year Resolution:

(1) Do not cry more than 5 times throughout the year (eyes will spoil)

(2) think, stay positive; never emo too much (preferbly! later kenna depression!)

(3) dont quarrel too much with Cha Gi Ya. (alil' is acceptable; to spice things up!)

(4) Help Cha Gi Ya quit smoking ((((: (liver growing black, no good!!)

(5) Get even better grades in school (:

(6) Bond with family member even more!

(7)

(8)

(9)

(10)

I'll fill em' up when i think of more (:

2009-12-31T00:58:00.003+08:00

i hope i can break his legs, twist his neck, fracture his arms.

JACKASS.

YoungHwan, you need not need to feel bad. really.

isnt your fault (:

i just feel utter miserable by how my friends of 5years think about me.

REALLY NOT YOUR FAULTTTTTTT!

2009-12-28T01:20:00.001+08:00

found these in Sister's notebook.hahaha!

cute eh!

i am back on earth!

2009-12-28T00:55:00.004+08:00

Finally, am back from chalet (((:

had loads of fun there!

everyone laughed at my pig, my sleeping partner.

WHY!? it's not from India!it's just that i haven washed it for 5years!

hahaha, got my smell what.cant bear to part away with the smell (:

the period spoilt alil' of it.

else, it would have been fun-ner!

pictures are in fb. go take a look (:

Mood swang badly.

from bad to worse.and my target for venting on anger is always mr jung.

thank you and sorry.

i dont know how many times i've said this, but still, please accept graciously (:

i've no idea what happened and why am i so easily frustrated these days.

it runs in the genes i guess?haha.

and i hope i wont become a changed person because of all these nonsensical acts ):

Elin.

a card with a number of things that cant be disclosed to public.hahahah! shhh.

you know, i know.

Shuhui & Bf.

But, eh, since when i stole your chocolate eh? i used them and applied all o'er my body isit?

that's why i'm so tanned?

Shuhui, thanks loads ar. help me fight 'FrogFear'.

the shirt on the frog abit too small.

machiam gonna burst soon.next time make bigger shirt okay? XXXL

YoungHwan, Kimchi, Daniel, Alex!

a very long while sinced i've this kind of feeling back.

thanks loads! and i hope the surprises wont stop! hahaha!

Year 2009, X'mas.

I sincerely thank everyone for everything!

God loves you,

Jesus loves you,

I love you! :D

Blessed year ahead guys!

hohoho, Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T01:31:00.004+08:00

Looked absolutely like Eurasian right?hahaha.

(My Surprise for YoungHwan! Creativity Level high okay!?)

Loads of surprises this year!

Thanks everybodddddyyyyyy!~

Though 'Boxing Day' is on 26th, but, I'VE ALREADY OPENED ALL MY PRESENTS!

hahaha!

Just reached home.

went to find Elin just now. Thanks ar. for the 'Ling Ling tree'

and,

CDZ, TBZ AND GOD TIANG! YOU 3 FREAKING INHUMANE FELLAS.

DONO HOW TO WISH ME BACK ISIT?

NO MORE STUDYING TOGETHER EQUALS NO MRE FRIENDSHIP ISIT!?

BASKET! EVEN BRYAN FROM AMERICA PURPOSELY SENT A REPLY.YOU 3 LEY?

WHERE, WHERE, WHERE!? WHERE ARE THE REPLIES?((:
blessed christmas, all! :D

christmas countdown (:

2009-12-22T23:32:00.002+08:00

4 days sinced i last updated :/
no choice. shuhui and elin eagerly wants me to update my life.
guess my blog is the only method for the 2 of them to know what i've been up to (:
thanks ar, you two (((:
busy with gifts these few days.
tooooooo many friends lo lah. too popular.hahaha
Elin, Shuhui, be amazed to see my presents also.
see when you two free, lets meet(:
Wednesday morning - not free.
Wednesday afternoon - not free.
Wednesday night - free! from 9 or 10pm onwards?
Thursday morning - free.
Thursday afternoon - not free.
Thursday night - not free.
Friday morning to Sunday night - not free.(Grandma's chalet)
hahahaa! eh eh eh, i've typed my schedule already. let me know when okay!?
Bon Voyage,Joanne! have fun in Cheena!

i love Mom and Dad!

2009-12-18T23:01:00.004+08:00

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

Mom bought me Poncho!

She kept asking me to put a brolly in my bag when i go to school, lest it rains heavily one day.

i told her i hate brollies and told her, "you buy give me poncho(raincoat) lah! i sure wear everyday!"

and she really did! -.-

she went shopping with my aunts and grandma today at Jurong -.-

15minutes ago, she took out from the shopping bag, a poncho -.-

she said she wanted to take the one according to my height, than think think think, abit weird if were to wear a poncho that covers thoroughly. hahaha!

simply love Mom to bits. freaking cute.

and she's been making funny or rather, 'act cute' faces to us these few days.

hahahah. going gaga uh Mom!

what did Dad fed you!? why so high everyday!???

freaking cute couple. full of nonsense everyday (:

I WANTO BE LIKE THEM NEXT TIME! ((((((((((((:

Khim, Mom, sister gave me my x'mas gift already!

EH, THE REST, GET READY OKAY? I'LL LOOK FORWARD IN RECEIVING PRESENTS!!

Dont ngiao hor! "It's better to give than to receive!"

144.5.

2009-12-18T00:34:00.005+08:00

144.5 HOURS NEVER MEET ALREADY!!
one hundred, forty-four and a half hour/s never meet already!
wtf, wtf, wtf.
grrrrr. nabeh _l_

Lousy wednesday spent :/

too lazy to type out from head-to-toe.

on the whole, sucked.

My long-time no see cousin!

@ SupperClub -.- waste time, waste money.

Went out with Seob, Xinni, Sal, Sok, Van, Syl and Nina.

so long never go out together! wanted to shop for Van's Mom's gift.at last?

coffeebean at 313-.- -.- nonsense!

i spoilt Van's sandals! felt damn guilty until we realise is her legs got problem. walk too slow.

right, Sok? hahaha!

surprisingly, saw Jeric. from primary school.he recognises me! hahah! 7 years??haha.

H4/2, H4/2, faster come out!All dont hide anymore!

toodoo!~

2009-12-15T01:02:00.003+08:00

Yippy Yabba Doo Doooooo!

feel sooooooooo energetic now! no idea why.

wah, my whole week's packed! Yay!

no more boring weekdays ((((:

Time for Gym too!

oh my, oh my, skipped for prolly a month already!

Dear Body, i know i've been eating quite alot recently.

dont punish me, dont add more fats on me okay?

i promise to be good and listen to Mom and Dad (:

Mentioning bout Dad!

wonder how he is now.

he went out of town last Sunday and will be back only on Thursday.

See you, I LOVE YOU! my Dad, i meant (:

Christmas presents........ sigh. dang. ive no idea what to buy! Grrrrr.

Seoul'd out!

2009-12-13T12:03:00.006+08:00

No ZoukOut!, because we went for Seoul'dOut!

it was a last-minute thing.

Cha Gi Ya's Mom called and asked if we wanted to attend because she has tickets.

than we just go lo! :D

Sis was there with her friends too!
these 'Out!' 'Out!' things really amused me.

really driving marjority crazy

yesterday at FortCanningPark, dono how many thousandsssss of ppl there.scary.

Seoul'dOut!'s a lil' awesome (:

prolly i dont know the bands well?

and i only know a couple of songs out of the so many there.

i'm an all-time BigBang fan^^

wahhhh, FT Island really is popular!

the ppl at the concert all yelllllllllled when they saw them. totally crazy! hahaha.

Anyway, thank you Aunty and Yh!
Cha Gi Ya, ZoukOut! next year okay? (:

haha.

indian lookalike.

2009-12-11T00:31:00.002+08:00

i'm looking more like an indian as compared to yesterday -.-

a pimple unexpectedly GREW in the middle of my forehead

(exactly where indians dot their forehead)

WHY!?

worst, a freaking indian stared at me throughout when i was in the train towards bukitpanjang.

basket. I'm a PURE CHINESE for God's sake!

yay! my hols....theyre finally appraoaching! ^^

tomorrow, tomorrow!

gonna go school and say a final 'ByeBye' to Angeline!(:

skipped consecutive 4 weeks of her lesson (:

i'm truly sorry. the timetable really suck big time.

Baked cookies/ biscuits during wee hours last night -.-

12am to 3am. too bored :/

charred, but i thought it tasted good! hahaha.

Please! find me something to do! i'm bored at home!

khim and tanweiying's programme are fully packed.

mine?

i saw dust, and fallen, dried leaves -.-

new moon with my cha gi ya (:

2009-12-09T00:46:00.003+08:00

woot! NewMoon, it's new moon!

after 6 days.

went to watch with Yh earlier on.

hamsom lah sial, Jac!haha.

his *turtle shell*........

Oooooo. mesmerising (: (: (:

RobertPattinson......okay lah, not bad.still as charming (:

Holy, i sound like a freaking small young girl, fanatically idolizing dashing 'stars' -___-

Lesson for thursday's cancelled :D

but, lessons for tmr extends -.- -.-

holiday mood lo leyyyyyyyyyyyy.

X'mas, X'mas, come fast fast!!

i'm waiting for youuuuuuuu~

Anticipating: Van's christmas party at her house,

Grandma's christmas party at EastCoast's Goldkist,

and finally, Grandma's birthday (((:

This year's christmas's gonna be fulfilling! woooohooooooo!

Huat ar!

Shuhui, countdown 2010 this year again. want?hahaha.

we go the alot banglassssssss there again? that big and green field (:

'Two Is Better Than One' is really a commendable song.

damn emo after hearing it, everytime -.-

thanks ar. to that one fello who introduced it (: