All the misfortunes, unfairness always apply to me.

why is it so?

haven't i be a good girl lately?

how can all the sway things whack into my face at the same time?

i'm jealous.so much so that i really dont know whom to share it with sometimes.

Mom has been treating sister so good nowadays, and totally neglecting me.

i dont even know if i existed in the house for the weekend when i was together with them at Grandma's place. felt totaly t.r.a.n.s.p.a.r.e.n.t.

she used to talk, crap, bullshit with me last time. and now, all at younger sister.

i know i shouldnt be jealous with her because it's childish and i'm going to be a 20 this year.

but i cant help it. seriously cant.

My relationship is at its rocks.

Robert is so going to die off one day.

i really dont wanto spend days without YoungHwan.

i really dont wanna live with regrets.

i wanted to cling onto and risk it, because i know i've tried.

Korea, how far is it? i dont travel, i dont know.

United Kingdom, where? Further than Korea right?

Korea to serve the Nation first, than UK to futher his studies.

conclusion? sooner or later also will leave.just a matter of time.

Though it's only 50%. but 50% is also alot.

it's half the battle.

You kept asking/telling if i wanto leave you right now for that reason,you can accept.

if your friends asked, "what happened to you and your previous Girlfriend?"

You'll answer,"i'm returning to Korea. She wanted a long-lasting relationship. so we broke off"

thats what you told me.

i remembered, word-for-word.

and you added, "No matter what, We will still remain as friends."

you once said that once you've broken off with your Gf, you wont wanto remain as friends with her, because feelings might rekindle and it will affect your current relationship.

Youre right, absolutely. So, i'd rather we go along your initial idea.

I really wanted to be selfish.

but, BUT. let's say.

if we're still together, you will be the one affected because you couldve pursued your studies.but because of me and this small Singapore, it hindered your life.

would i feel good or better? No, i wont. i'll be guilt-ridden even more.

If i let you off, you'll benefit.

Benefit from studies, and many other more.

So, in conclusion, WE ARE FROM DIFFERENT PLANET.

WE OUGHT TO GET TO WHERE WE BELONGED.

Sorry YoungHwan. but i dont wanna text or ring you up anymore.

Guys, just leave me alone and let me be.

i will be well.

i know y'all wanna show concern. but i dont want.

i'm an egoistic, thick headed person. i dont like ppl to pity me.

HAHAHA. like drama right??

Yea, i feel my life like those of dramas right now.

full of obstacles and covered with shit.

i really feel unfair, but what can i do?